Let me now address the elephant in the room…

Many people who read my blog are my close and personal friends or at the very least, people I know or once knew well. Most people who know me now, know that I was a surrogate mom recently and I just wanted to take a moment to talk about this “Triumph”. (Names are withheld)

I absolutely love the family who I was a surrogate for. The wife and mother is an amazing woman who believes in her faith. She is so caring and compassionate and I consider her to be a very close and personal friend (a sister in all perspectives). Her husband is quite the same as her and they have a great relationship. In addition, they have a little boy whom they are amazing parents to. When I thought about being her surrogate, I took all of these things into perspective and knew immediately that I wanted to help them any way I could.

(The whole process leading up the birth and now will be in detail in our book J )

Today she sent me a picture of Eli (I can’t not say his name). She sends me many and I am thankful for that because they live so far away. Eli was doing tummy time today and for the first time, he fell asleep on his tummy. The picture was so sweet and it made me smile instantly. I started to think back to when I first saw him…

…I remember it like it was yesterday. I drove to the hospital at 11pm. I remember getting there and being so relieved to be finally getting this big guy outta me. They hooked me up to IV’s and the very next morning I was wheeled into surgery. I remember being in this room, waiting to be taken into the operation room. I had to pee so badly and I asked the nurse if I could get up and go and she said no but brought me a bedpan. I had to go so bad! She put the bedpan under me and walked away. What was I supposed to do? Go? Right there in bed? I said no way. I couldn’t do it. I sat there for about ten minutes having to pee so badly but…I just couldn’t do it in my bed. (Thank you God for a catheter in the OR).

My anesthesiologist was amazing. He was so nice and during the whole procedure, he was always asking me how I was and rubbing my head. It really put me at ease. My doctor was amazing, telling me what he was doing step by step. The whole procedure lasted longer than I remembered with my boys. I was waiting and waiting for it to be over because I was starting to get scared, when all of a sudden I heard this great cry. It was so loud and so constant. Waa waaaa. Lol. I was so surprised to hear it at that moment that I burst into tears. I was shocked to hear him and to finally see him. He was immediately the most adorable creature I ever saw.

After everything, they wheeled me to recovery, then back to my room. I was there for a couple hours before my fiancé could come see me. He had to get the boys to school before he could come see me. He got there early. He got to see Eli and he was really worried about me seeing him. He was worried during the whole process that I would be super emotional or change my mind. Which I understand. However, he was so wrong. Eli’s dad arrived shortly after. I remember them wheeling Eli in and the look on his (Dad’s) face when he saw him for the first time. He looks surprised and somewhat scared. We took picture of him holding Eli for the first time. It was an amazing moment for me. To know that I had a part in his life was overwhelming to me. In a good way. After a while, he asked if I wanted to hold Eli and I said yes, of course. I had waited to hold or see him until dad got to see him first. That was important to me. When he handed Eli to me, I saw the apprehension on my fiancés face. But I could only focus on this perfect little baby boy who was placed I my arms. I held him, stared at him, and fell in love with him. I undid his blanket to see what his tiny body looked like. Perfect of course. He had long thin legs and the cutest little piggy toes. (I wanted to bite one off so I could keep it with me forever-Weeds) I quickly gave him back to his daddy and before he left, I had him take Eli back to the nursery.

Awhile later, he left and so did my fiancé. I was there, alone in the hospital room, and it was early in the evening. A  new nurse came on and she wheeled Eli into my room an asked if I wanted to feed him. My brain was screaming “NOO” but my heart yelled, “Of course I do.” She handed him to me and walked away. I fed him, burped him, changed him, and stared at him. His features, his smell. I drank it all in. He fell asleep on my chest and I couldn’t move him. He layed there for almost three hours before I got so tired that I just had to put him back into his little crib thing. I called the nurse to take him back to the nursery.

The next morning Mom arrived (Eli’s mom) with her sister. It was a little awkward because when she walked in, Eli was sleeping on me. I felt bad because I didn’t want her to think I was making some motherly bond with him or to think I had changed my mind. She thought neither of course. Gosh, I tried so hard to act cool and not burst into tears when I saw her. I was so relieved that she was there. Finally, she got to meet her new little baby boy. It was so…incredible to see her hold him for the first time. Right away, she got to feed him and looking at her, she was a natural. He fit perfectly into her arms and was immensely content. I think he knew that his mommy was holding him. No, I knew he knew that.

During the whole hospital stay, I spent more time with little Eli than I wanted to. I was afraid to fall into love with him. But it was inevitable. Who wouldn’t? I fed him, burped him, changed him, talked to him, and slept with him. This may sound strange but…for those 4 days; it felt like he was my baby. I’m so happy that I got to spend that time with him. I couldn’t justify him staying in the nursery the whole time. I think he needed me to love him while his mommy and daddy couldn’t be there. I at least know this…He will always know who his Auntie Sam is. He will know that I loved/love him. I remember holding him one night and watching episodes of Weeds on Hulu. I couldn’t sleep because I didn’t have the heart to put him down so, I just kept watching TV.

The last day at the hospital was the hardest day. I remember mom getting Eli dressed to go and packing up all of our things. It was a sad day because we were going so far away from each other. It was a happy day because it was truly the day that Eli left to be a part of the family he was made to be a part of. I have to admit, I was sad. I didn’t want to leave the hospital. I was fine though.  I put on my big girl panties and got all my stuff together to go home…We walked down to the cars…I was still fine…We hugged, kissed, and said our goodbyes, we got into our cars…I was still fine. I remember that they were driving in front of us. I was looking through their back window, “mom” was driving, and her sister was in the back seat with Eli. I remember seeing the top of Eli’s car seat and when I realized that was what I was looking at, I lost it. I just started crying and crying. The thing is, it was not a sad cry. It was totally a happy cry. I was happy that he was finally going home to meet his big brother and his family and to be settled in his new life and home. I didn’t, nor do I, regret anything. I just missed him. Part of me wanted to be back in the hospital. Part of me couldn’t wait to get home.

Once I was home, all I wanted to do was to see my boys. I got all comfortable on the couch. It was still hard to get around because of the surgery. I got all ready and my fiancé went to get the boys. They were so happy to see me an I cried like a baby to see them. I forgot how much I missed them and just wanted to hug them so tight and never leave their sight again. For the first week, it was hard. I battled not being pregnant, missing Eli, and wanting to be back at the hospital. Eli’s mom started to send me pictures all the time and that made me feel GREAT. It was nice to see Eli at home and integrated into his family and to see everyone around him and loving him. It really helped me to relax and sort of accept everything.

Now, looking back. It was the most amazing experience ever. I feel fantastic about everything. I talk to my best friend (Eli’s mom), whom I consider a sister to me, nearly every day. We exchange pictures and talk about our daily lives. It is nice to know that she is only a phone call or a few finger taps of the keys away. I talk about them often and think about them daily. It is such a remarkable feeling to know that I am part of someone’s life in such a unique way. I feel really good about myself and If I had to turn back time, I would ABSOLUTELY do it again…only for them though!

What I didn’t think about before was how hard it must have been for them to trust me with their baby’s life. To take care of him and put all of my care and love into him. They had to trust that I wouldn’t change my mind and that I would stick to what I said. Yes, they were amazing and they did great with the astonishingly hard wait and with trusting that I would take care of their little boy.

I love what I did and what I was a part of. For those of you who know me. Don’t feel bad to ask me a question. Don’t feel that you will upset me or put me in a “mood”. You won’t. I love talking about everything and answering questions. If my experience would encourage someone else to help another person out with the gift of a baby to complete a family, then I feel great. There is not one bad thing I have to say about anything I have been through. I love it and it is a part of who I am. They got a new baby that day…I adopted a whole family though. I know how blessed I am and I thank God every day for the opportunity and for giving me this newfound connection with the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. With my boys and my family,…I now feel complete!

So there I was…Spitting on my goldfish to keep it alive.

…Okay, so this post has nothing to do with goldfish. I got you here though didn’t I? lol. I wanted to get everyone together to share some valuable information. Are you ready for this?

*Public Service Announcement*                                                                                                                                          I have created a new social network used to communicate with people right in front of you.                                                        It’s called MyFace.

My face, get it? Haha…no?Just me? Alright then. I’m trying to talk about the fact that nobody really communicates face to face anymore. Be it a family member, friend, coworker, or acquaintance, we seem to have distant relationships now. I don’t think this is technically a bad thing but I do think that it poses a problem for the younger generation. I wonder if my children or my children’s children will have any personal, face-to-face relationships at all. Think about it. How long have websites like MySpace, Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter been around? Not long right? Even e-mail, Skype, and texting is a part of this lack of closeness. Look how much has changed since before these websites blew up.

I never talk on the phone anymore. I either e-mail or text. Whenever I get a phone call, I hold the phone to my face and don’t know what to say. Hearing a voice on the other line is surprising. They ask a question and you don’t have time to think about what you’re going to “text” before you respond. For me, I think it affects my reaction time. Coming up with a response on the fly is harder because I so often do not have to do it. I e-mail all the most important people in my life and I think I would rather Skype than go our somewhere. I’m used to the comfort of my own home. I don’t have to wonder what I sound like an If I say something stupid, I can delete it. It is as if we become our optimal self through writing/texting. If you’re wondering what Josie is doing, don’t call her. Check her Facebook, text her, or see if she Tweeted. But gosh forbid, don’t call her. People don’t do that anymore. I have to say, I miss it sometimes. I’m not sure if I am happy with my boys being raised in a world where physical contact/communication is not necessary. How did we live without these things before? How did our parents and their parents live? What about when there were no cell phones or computers? Sheesh, it’s not as if it was that long ago. I’m sure they had their own “thing”. Take the cavemen for example; they were posting on walls before it was cool. Did we steal the idea?

In addition, I haven’t been to the library in…I can’t remember how long. I rely on Google for a great majority of all of my research and anything I want or need to know really. “Who are the actors in I Love You Man? What is Garbage Island (that’s a different topic)?” The things we are able to search online is amazing. All the answers right before us. We don’t even need to leave our home. It sometimes makes me wonder, What if they read a list of everything you’ve ever typed into Google before entering heaven. Would you still be able to enter? Would St. Peter laugh or cry?

Everything we do, can be done from our computers. We can work, go to school, order food, visit with friends, shop, gamble…the list goes on forever. With being in school for IT, I think deeper into the inner workings of technology (or at least I try to) rather than the frosting on the surface. My inquisitiveness and need to “know” had started in front of my computer screen and branched out into other aspects of my life. Not always in good ways though. At B-Dubs a couple weeks ago, a waitress came to take our order and asked if we were ready. I said yes, but give me just a second. She asked me if I had any questions about the menu and I said, “Yeah, what kind of font is this?” She didn’t know of course and I felt like a total nerd. I looked over to my friend and said, “I’m sure it’s a form of Berlin Sans.” She gave me this look that clearly said…Are you kidding me?

On the flip side. I’m happy with technology an all the newness of everything. The bottom line is, I feel that it takes away from my having any sort of real (in person) conversations with anyone anymore. I have this weird feeling that when the boys are older, I’ll have to text them, “Hey, are you coming to dinner? Is this laundry on your floor clean or dirty? “

Maybe I’m making a big deal out of something that really isn’t. I’m so tired right now that I don’t remember anything I just wrote…the next post will be much better, I promise. Momma’s gotta get some sleep…..zzz…..

I didn’t run into anyone I know today…Guess who’s wearing the exact same thing tomorrow?!?

…Or at least that’s how I felt yesterday. I woke up sick to my stomach and just started to feel worse as the day went on. I blame the sushi I ate the night before. Do not buy sushi from K-Mart. I should have known better, I just wanted sushi. I ended up not going to work and stayed home, laying on the couch because every time I moved, I got sick. Thank goodness I took the boys to school or they would have been so miserable. I have to say, regardless of being sick; it was nice to be able to fit in some schoolwork. Which is one nice thing about going to college online; there is never an excuse for not doing schoolwork. I can lie in bed, in my pajamas, eating, and drinking some OJ if I want.

Anyway, today I felt much better. Although it was not the greatest day because it started out really bad. I took a shower before work to try to feel more awake and overall better. While in there, I slipped and tried to grab onto the water to catch myself. It didn’t work. I immediately got mad, angrily squeezed the body wash onto my loofah, and practically scrubbed my skin off. I was taking out my frustration, onto myself. Not smart. After my shower, I plugged in my flat iron and proceeded to walk into the bedroom to figure out what I was going to wear. It was dark except for a small sliver of light that was coming in from the window. Somehow, I stepped full footed onto a Lego with all of my weight and I just have to say, People who say labor pain is the most intense pain a human can feel, have obviously never stepped on a Lego in the dark! I cried a little. In addition, I was immensely confused about how there was a Lego there in the first place. We don’t have Lego’s. One of the boys must have pocketed on from school and planted it there for me. Needless to say, I threw the Lego across the house and proceeded to finish my hair and make-up and get out the door.

It was busy when I got to work. I would have so much rather been home with my boys doing something fun or just snuggling with them (they are the very BEST snugglers). People were acting a little crazy and there was a thickness in the air. It was as if everyone was stressed out and I could feel it. Just so happens that my first customer was one whom I’m not too fond of. She is always sort of rude and disrespectful. She acts as if she is better than me because I am waiting on HER. She was actually somewhat nice today but I wasn’t buying it. It’s sort of funny because when you don’t like someone, everything they do is offensive, “Look at her, chewing that gum like she owns the place.” After she left, it was pretty slow. I feel like I did a lot but at the same time, got nothing done. Before I left, I started talking to another employee (whom is my friend) and a few other people. I had started telling them the story about how my morning went but realized that nobody was listening so I slowly faded out and pretended I never said anything.

Rather than talk to anyone, which hadn’t gone to well all day, I proceeded to clean this diamond ring for someone. While doing this, I started having a conversation in my head and realized I was making faces that went along with the silent conversation…oh it gets worse…I was even smiling and laughing, because I’m so darn hilarious. Yeah right. It was awkward and I was super embarrassed. When I looked up my relief was there so I high tailed it out of there. As I was walking out the door of work I felt, overwhelmingly happy to be leaving. Until I tripped right at the sliding doors and fell to my knees. I wanted to yell, “GO ON WITHOUT ME” for dramatic effect but the gig was up. Everyone saw what I did and I think some of them saw the “I can’t believe this just happened” look on my face and let me tell you…they were holding back laughter.

I left work and went out to my car, started it up, and sat there for a second to breath. I took out my phone and noticed my text message light beeping. Woohoo! It was from a friend who wanted me to go out with her and a few of our friends to get wings after work. (I declined because I missed my lil’ guys) I immediately perked up until I started to read the text. Let me quote it for you… “Omgz hav!n such a gewd tiem wif mai bestiez, lolzzzz!”….Seriously? Take your keyboard and bash your head into it.

I went from work, straight to the boy’s school to pick them up, squeeze them really tight, and give them a million kisses. They were just as happy to see me as I was them. Which totally turned my whole day around. On the way home, Stefan said, “Mom I gotta joke, Whats brown and sticky?” I thought, oh great. Another poop joke. But instead I said, “I don’t know, Stefan. What’s brown and sticky?” His reply was….”a stick.” Really? I actually laughed as if he told me the funniest joke ever written. I was not expecting it and it was cute coming from him. He thought he was THE MAN for telling a funny joke too.

Once we got home, it was really quite peaceful. I made sandwiches, mac and cheese, and corn. Yes, I was being lazy and uninventive. But hey, after a day like today, I wanted to keep things simple. The boys were being sweet and really made it easy on me tonight. They ate all their dinner, took a bath, and went to bed when I said. They were asleep after 2 bedtime stories. As I sit here and take a deep breath, I think…”Bring it on Thursday. I can take it.”    J

Mommy Radar

I think it was Monday night that I worked until close. I got home at about 10:30pm, the boys were in their room asleep, and the “old man” had a friend over to watch the football game. It was a long day at work and I was so relieved to be home. Right when I walked in the door, I kicked my shoes off, took a shower, and got into my pajamas. The sooner I got out of those work cloths the better. After I was all comfy and cozy, I settled down on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee, some Halloween candy, and my computer. They guys were next to me watching football and laughing and carrying on quite loudly. I have to admit, I was getting quite irritated and I kept saying, “Shhh, guys be quite. You’re going to wake up the boys.” They kept saying that they have stayed at the same tone all night and the boys have yet to wake up. Well, after a few minutes, I started to talk about work and the day I had. Before I knew it, heard a wining coming from the boy’s bedroom, my talking had woke them up. The old man went in there and told them to lie down and close their eyes. They did. After that, the guys started talking loudly again and I got mad…again. “Guys, you really need to be quiet.” Of course, they didn’t listen and they kept being loud. I started to relax about the noise a little and I joined in the conversation. Before I knew it, there was wining coming from the boy’s room again. They soon went back to bed. THEN, it hit me. They stay asleep when they hear dad’s voice. It doesn’t bother them, they don’t care. The second that I speak, their “mommy radar” must start wildly beeping “Mommy’s home, mommy’s home” and they wake up.

It’s kind of funny. When the boys wake up at night, all dad has to do is tell them to lie down. I always have to tell them I’m busy and will be back in. They always want me to lay in there with them and I cannot sleep on their floor. My back would hurt too bad the next morning. If they wake up I will say something like, “Mommy needs to clean up the dishes, I’ll be right back in.” It normally works pretty well. Last night it didn’t work at all. I was doing school work and Ryder was waking up every 15 minutes it seemed. I was so sick of getting up and running in there. After waking up about ten times, on the 11^th time I went in there and said, “Ryder, please lay down. Mommy needs to go poop, I’ll be right back.” He was happy with that response and he laid back down and went to sleep. I of course, didn’t have to go “poop” (girls don’t do that), so I went back to the living room and continued on with my homework.

I wonder why is it so different when I go into the room as opposed to when dad goes in there. It’s as if they listen to dad when he says to go to sleep. They see me and I have to lay in there, read another story, or just sit in the doorway. I don’t mean to complain. I love it that the boys love me and want me near them all the time but sometimes, mommy needs some time to herself. In addition, why is it that dad and his buddy can talk so loud that they are practically yelling and the boys stay asleep but when I talk, their eyes shoot open? That was a frustrating night.

They usually always make up for it in the morning. This morning Ryder came into my room and said, “Mommy, I’ya wake. I yay nexta you?” He then kissed me, cuddled up right next to me, and fell back asleep. It was so sweet. I love my little monsters. I just with their mommy radar wasn’t so keen.

Another thing…When they wake up in the morning, they always wake me up right away for something to eat. They always want waffles and chocolate milk. On the rare days when I am tired or have the chance to sleep in, I will ask them to go wake daddy up (which is something they never ever do). Whenever I tell them that, they will look at each other for a second and then walk out of the room. About a minute later, they are back and wanting me to wake up. I’ll say, why didn’t you ask daddy for something? They will reply, “Because he is sleeping.” SO WAS I. lol I don’t like the boys being awake by themselves so, mom always gets up and proceeds to start the day. I think it is funny that they won’t wake dad up but they will wake me up. I joke that they love me more. J It wouldn’t be so hard if they would sleep past 4-5am.  They don’t understand that mommy needs her beauty sleep. This is why their bedtime is normally my bedtime too. By 7:30 at night I’m about to fall over in exhaustion.

I love my boys more than anything in the universe and I am very happy that they are mommy’s boys and all about ME. I don’t know how I will function when they get older and I’m turn into the “uncool” mom that embarrasses them. I know its going to happen at some point. I’m just so not looking forward to it. I can only hope that I stay cool forever!

Shut-up SpongeBob

The affect kid shows have on children is amazing. This morning while I was cleaning up after breakfast, SpongeBob came on. This is not something we usually watch because…well, I think it’s stupid.  Anyway, I wasn’t really watching but I was aware of what was going on. During this 30-minute cartoon, I noticed that every time SpongeBob wanted something, he threw a huge tantrum. He was actually somewhat mean too. Maybe I am just a little old fashioned, maybe I just like to criticize things, whatever it may be it made me have a rare epiphany. Are my kids responding to what they see? Is this a reason why THEY throw fits and tantrums? Maybe not, but the behavior portrayed in these so-called kid shows are astonishing. Even popular kid films have adult innuendo. We will be watching something as a family and I will hear a crude joke that I know went way over the boy’s heads and I say, “Ohh, wow, I can’t believe they said that.” Of course, most of the time I think it is funny. This is only because I know that my kids don’t get it. In addition, I have noticed that even family shows that are aired at prime time have curse words in them. When did words like Ass and Bitch become acceptable for a family audience? I don’t say these words around my children, why is it okay for pop culture to do it. It teaches them that it is okay, when its sooo not!

Since my kids are young, its easier to avoid the things I don’t like them to see. We have a set bundle of things that we watch together that we can trust. Our DVD’s, races, funniest home video, etc. We normally don’t stray from our regulars. Any adult shows are TVO’d and watched when the kids go to bed. (Their bedtime has been my bedtime so; we really don’t ever get to watch grown up shows J)

I’m scared of what will happen when they get older. Shows that are aimed at the younger generation, I’m talking preteen and teens are practically R rated. Have you ever seen some of these MTV shows like Skins, Awkward, Degrassi, or Teen Mom? Skins is practically a porn, Awkward has underage drinking, kids having sex (I mean from age 14 and up!), and language that is out of this world. Degrassi is much the same. Even Teen Mom is starting to get ridicules. It started out as 16 and Pregnant, which I think was great. It touched on the subject that teen pregnancy is happening and it shows kids what it is really like. Now that Teen Mom has gained steam, those girls are well known, making a lot more money, and they have an essence of fame about them. When you watch Teen Mom now, you see teen girls, living on their own in nice places, driving nice cars, doing what they want, dropping out of school, domestic violence, and the list goes on. The money that they are making off of the show, takes away from the effectiveness that I believe the creators are trying to portray. A typical single teen mom would  be struggling a lot more. The show almost glorifies it and makes it seem as if raising a child is not that hard. Let me just say, I watch some of these shows. Maybe I am a hypocrite but I find them acceptable because I am an adult.

Even popular music has gotten crazy with the lyrics. Rihanna has a song that shocked me out of my skin. The lyrics were so graphic and if I heard my kid singing it, I would surely flip my lid. OH? What’s that? You haven’t heard it? Oh, well….let me give you a glance. Here is the main chorus, “Cause I may be bad But I'm perfectly good at it, Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it, Sticks and stones May break my bones But chains and whips Excite me.”  Fitting I guess since the song is titled S&M. What is that teaching? Just so happens that the very next song on the radio was singing about a guy who has 8 balls of cocaine. I just shook my head. Is it bad that I wasn’t surprised? I think I’ll stick to my oldies station. I want to go back to the time where “Puff the Magic Dragon” was really about a dragon whose name was Puff. Everything is distorted in this day and age. I always hear people saying, “What happened? It wasn’t like this when I was young.” Well, sit down for this…are you ready…my grandma says that, and her grandma said that and her grandma before that said that. Everything changes. Taboos are broken.  The world loosens up and accepts things differently than they would have 50, 30, even 10 years ago. I guess if we don’t like to watch or hear it, then turn it off or change the channel. I just worry about the influence. Kids are so impressionable.

Am I the only one who is bothered by this? Or do I just sound like a prude?

Weight is great....right?

Let us start today with a quote from the late great Andy Rooney.

“The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.”

I thought this was appropriate considering how I feel this morning. I was thinking about what my Thanksgiving menu is going to be and what I am going to do. I want to keep the day very traditional. I was thinking about inviting the neighborhood over for a great feast, then kill them and steal their land…Okay, maybe not THAT traditional. My mouth watered when I thought of the food. A nice juicy turkey and lots and lots and LOTS of sides. Yes, I feel that it is perfectly acceptable to eat until you have to lean back and unbutton your pants. What’s a few pounds at during the holidays? Its expected and inevitable.

I do want to keep the weight gain to a minimal though, if I gain any at all. I’m not back to my pre pregnancy weight yet so, gaining isn’t exactly on my to do list. I was thinking about my weight today and had a few thoughts. For instance, have you ever grabbed your own butt just to try and feel what your husband would if he grabbed it? Yeah, me neither. Sheesh, do I look like a weirdo or something? Well, maybe I do, you can’t see me.

I learned what “fat” was at a really young age. Not that I had a complex about it or anything. I was just aware of it. I have to say, it was all downhill after I realized “elemonopee” was not just one awesome letter. It was the age that I started to compare my looks to everyone else’s. I didn’t care about what other people thought about me, but more about how I felt about myself. Now that I am older, a mom, and with someone who loves me, I am finally happy in my own skin. I’m told by the three most important men in my life that I am beautiful and pretty all the time. I do believe them; however, you’ll never catch me in a mini skirt or fishnet stockings. Why you ask? Well, have you ever pushed cookie dough through a sifter before? Maybe I’m exaggerating a little…or a lot. But still. I’m happy being ol’ modest me.

I plan to eat like a cow from now until New Year’s. My resolution is going to be to lose weight, or at least get back to the weight I was before having babies. It should be a piece of cake…a piece of delicious chocolate cake…I want cake. J

I didn’t intend to make a big deal out of this weight and body image thing. I was just thinking about it. I guess it’s all about perspective and how you look at it. I mean, the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen. I’m staying positive on the whole issue. Like I said though. Everything is free game now. I want cake, pie, and cookies. This reminds me…at the grocery store today I bought cookie dough so that dad can bake cookies with the boys. The label of the chocolate chip cookie dough warned: “Do not consume raw cookie dough” and I realized that that has to be the most ignored warning label ever. I, on the other hand, chose some sugar cookie dough that was precut and had images on it. It was pretty cool, I’m sure the boys will love it. Since Ryder puts EVERYTHING in his mouth, I may have to hire security guards to make sure he follows that raw dough warning.

I can’t wait to have a fresh warm cookie! YUM! A cookie and a nice hot cut of coffee sounds like a gift from God…A Starbucks man would be a nice gift too. I think that the ice cream man should automatically change his “goods” in the cooler months and start slinging coffee. Can you see it? Your baking cookies and suddenly, you hear coffee house music, “OH MY GOSH! It’s the Starbucks man! Do we have cash? HURRY HURRRRY!”

Anyway, this post is getting a little out of hand. Is every post supposed to stay on topic? Because I totally got off track…again. I have schoolwork to do still and I have to find something to eat as, my stomach is growling like crazy talking about all this delicious food and drink. I’m trying to think of what sounds good because I have NONE of the things that I mentioned. I guess I’ll have a bowl of the generic frosted flakes that I have in the cabinet. They’rrrrrrrr, alright I guess.

Till next time………

Thoughts on Potty Training

This may seem like it’s coming from out of the blue. I mean, I only have a few friends whose kids are potty training but I felt urged to share some things that worked and most importantly, didn’t work for me (or my boys). The only reason I am on this topic is because my oldest, Stefan, is recently 100% potty trained. He is 4 years old and still wore a diaper during the night because that was what he was comfortable with. Well, I’m pleased to say that for the last 8ish days, he has worn big boy undies to bed and woke up each night, completely dry. Bone dry! Now I have my youngest, Ryder, who is really not serious about getting out of diapers at all. Yes, he will go #1 and very rarely #2 on the potty, but its only when he wants to. He controls the outflow and when it happens and nobody can tell him otherwise. To get on with it, this is what I have learned so far.

*Some of the things that did or did not work for me, may or may not work for you. I’m not judging or criticizing, just stating what I tried.

1.  Do not demand that they start using the potty on YOUR schedule. This does not work. They will only start to “train” when THEY are ready.

2.  Don’t let them run around in their underwear or naked all day. This may work at home, but it does absolutely nothing when you are away from home. In addition, if they do have an accident, there is nothing to stop the “excrement” from seeping right into your carpet or worse, your couch. And trust me; it is not easy to clean this smell out. I had to buy a whole new couch. At least cloths, even undies, would have caught a little bit.

3.  Someone once told me that if they have an accident in their underwear, leave them in it so they learn a lesson. DO NOT DO THIS. I could give a few reasons why but, it just seems like child abuse to me. It is wrong! And no, I did not try this one.

4.  Do not make them sit on the potty until they “go”. This will seem like a punishment and face it; the potty is scary at first. I did this one time and my boys did now want to sit on the potty again at all. They thought I was going to make them sit there all day. (Although the only time I tried this it was only for 10 minutes before a glorious poo made an appearance) I wish I hadn’t because it took me forever to get my now potty-trained champ to try again.

5.  Do not move a small potty to the hallway, bedroom, living room, or anywhere else besides the bathroom. We are not training an animal here. The only acceptable place to go to the bathroom is…in the bathroom. Unless you are on a long road trip or someplace where no bathroom is near, in this case, a tree is perfectly acceptable for boys. If you have a little girl, I don’t know what to tell you. J

6.  Incentives do not work. Okay, maybe they do work a little but they are more of a hassle than a help. If you start giving them candy for using the potty, they will expect it every time they go. Even if it is a little dribble, even if they are potty trained, even if they just sit there and do nothing “I swear mommy, I peed a little, can I have some candy?”

7.  Do not put them down. Saying things like, “you’re such a baby. You’re not a big boy because you’re still in diapers. I hate changing your diaper. Your nasty.” Is just going to hurt their feelings and give them a complex. Is negative reinforcement ever acceptable?

Now, let me tell you what works, or what worked for me. Let them go on their own time. Ask them if they have to go or if they want to go. Do not demand that they go. Praise even the smallest of trickles. Yes, I jumped up and down, hooted and hollered, danced around and gave them a high five. Say things that are encouraging, “Woohoo, look at you! What a big boy! I’m so happy, I’m so proud of you. Lets tell daddy/Grampa/anyone and everyone. You’re so awesome.” Next, bribe them. Okay, wait a minute. Lets use the word “incentive” instead of bribe. Yes, I said that incentives do not work but bear with me. I use this “incentive” in a different way. If he stayed dry all through the night, I told him that we would ride bikes the next day. If he stayed dry for two nights, we would have a movie night. These are the kind of bribes, excuse me, “incentives” that you always want. Its just family time but it seems like more because the secret is to make a big deal out of it. I said to my oldest, “If you stay dry all night (again), we are going to watch Cars2 and have a pajama and movie night with popcorn.” He was so excited. I even went as far as to get an adult size onsie pajama with footies so we could all wear matching pajamas. Even though it was just a movie night, it was a special time. Anyway, to make a long story…well…long, try what you want, just keep my tips in mind. They won’t be in diapers forever.

On a side note. My oldest kept asking for something to drink last night at bedtime. I know he was stalling. I kept saying no to the drink because he has been accident free and I knew that water would surely do him in. I didn’t want to take the chance of waking up to….a big mess. It reminded me of this joke………..

………”A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....''What?'' I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'' No, You had your chance. Lights out.' Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....''WHAT? ''I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!' Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....''WHAT!'' When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?”