Christmas

It didn’t snow at all on Christmas. The grass was green, the air crisp, and the breeze wisping through the house was, oddly enough, warm for an Indiana winter. I woke up to a bright beam of light shining right into my closed eye. I rolled over and cursed Mother Nature for making Christmas day sunny. I wanted a cold, blustery snowfall. A gray kind of day. That kind of thing always made Christmas really feel like…Christmas. I think this was my first winter holiday without snow. It reminded me of Florida and made me wince at the pain of missing that magical (home of the evil rat-Mickey Mouse) place.

Anyway, no sooner than the sun woke me, the boys were jumping with glee asking if Santa had come. I was conscious of the fact that my boys are sneaky snakes and I put the door lock on the inside of the door and made them sleep with me so they couldn’t escape to gaze at the wondrous bounty that awaited them. Oh, what torture that must have been for them.

When we finally snuck out to open presents, they were beyond ready. They ran right to the tree and started grabbing gifts. “This one’s mine, and so is this one”, said Ryder to every present he saw. Stefan stated that all of the big presents were his. Bigger is better when you don’t know what’s inside. Stefan ended up loving all of his small presents, which were Cars2 cars. Half way through opening presents, I made everyone stop while I cooked breakfast. Eggs, bacon, pancakes, corned beef hash, and grits were gobbled up almost before I was done cooking. Oh what a way to get kids to eat on Christmas morning! It was also a way for me to stretch out the present opening time for as long as I could. Usually we are done opening presents within a half hour. Not this year. I drug it out like it was the last Christmas ever (and it just may be, according to the Mayans).

After presents we started opening the boxes to all the tracks, action figures, and animated toys, we realized that we were not prepared at all for how many batteries we would need. Who takes into account how many toys need what batteries? I’ll bet there are people out there who have a running list of batteries needed. I’m not that organized, and I don’t wanna be. If I can be perfectly honest, putting toys together and “powering them up” was pretty hellish. One Hot Wheels track along took me an hour. Who are they making these things for? Rocket scientists? One of the things I put together seemed so simple that I thought, “This cannot be right”, and I took it apart just to reassemble it the exact same way again. I’m glad that part is over. Ryder spent a lot of time rummaging through the torn up paper that I had piled up, looking for more presents hiding in the wrapping paper graveyard.

The boys spent the whole day playing with their presents and being amazingly good.

I started dinner. The menu was glazed ham, cabbage, corned bread. I know, what a feast right? I wish I would have thought of something better. It was good though. I made these amazing meatballs for an appetizer. OH MY GOSH, they were delicious. I put one bag of frozen traditional style meatballs in a slow cooker with a can of cranberry sauce and a whole jar of chili sauce. It cooked for about five hours and they were so Smokey sweet. I wish I had some now. Dessert was the leftover stale cookies that Santa didn’t have the appetite to eat. Chocolate is chocolate, despite a little staleness. Ha ha ha. (or is it Ho ho ho, enjoy that Santa).

Regardless of the boys being good and the day being great, I couldn’t help but feeling overwhelmed at how selfish my children seemed. I want them to understand that Christmas isn’t just about presents, but how do you teach them that. How does Santa tie in with Jesus’s birthday? What a miracle that Santa just so happens to come on that day. Was he really born on December 25^th? Why, I thought the date was really sometime in the early fall. I mean, I guess it really doesn’t matter exactly. Why is it important that we know when Jesus was born? We certainly do not use this knowledge to celebrate His birthday—He tells us to commemorate His death, not His birth (I Corinthians 11:23-26). The true date, however, destroys the entire foundation of the Christmas holiday. Who could ever know for certain. I enjoy believing that Dec. 25^th is Jesus’s birthday, thus Christmas. I just do not know how to tell my children how Jesus and Santa go together. A simple, “Santa was Jesus’s homeboy.” Won’t work. I guess I will have to work on that one a bit and maybe get over my conspiracy theory. (I’m not putting down believing or religion, I’m religious and a follower of the lord, I’m just confused and sometimes feel that I’m being played).

To get back on track…It is now four days after Christmas and I am disappointed. The day was over as fast as it came, which seemed unusually fast this year. I wish Christmas day could span into a two or three-day event but the day was over in just a few hours. Now everything seems drab and tiring. All I can think about is having to take all these decorations down that I spent so long on. And my “real Christmas tree” idea wasn’t so brilliant. Walking through the house and suddenly getting shanked with a dried spruce needle is…well, its not fun.

Now that the big day is over with, I’m starting to prepare for the New Year. Now is the time for resolutions and promises that we “promise” to keep. I’m excited for what is to come in 2012. The outlook is sunny and I embrace a fresh start. Bring it on 2012. I’m ready!

Chicks Dig Scars

Yesterday was likely the scariest moment of my life. Let me paint the picture.

I had just gotten home from watching Breaking Dawn with my friend and her husband. (GREAT MOVIE, the book is better but WOW) Anyway, my friend and I were sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a glass of moscato and chit chatting. The guys were watching the football game and my boys and her son were playing in the playroom. The boys kept arguing. One second they would be best friends and one second they would be fighting. Oh the complications of a childhood friendship. J Stefan came running out of the bedroom saying, “Robert isn’t my friend anymore, he doesn’t like me.” Shortly after, Robert walked up and said, “ I do too like you Stefan.” I was getting sick of the back and forth so I said, “You boys need to stop, you are friends.” Robert put his arms out to hug Stefan and when they hugged, they both starting laughing and getting a little rough when suddenly Stefan started to fall back and since he was hugging Lil’ Robert, he fell over on top of him. When they fell, the back of Stefan’s head hit the wall, right in the edge (corner). Yes, instinctively I said, “OH SH*T!” I knew that this was not going to be good. I ran over to him and dropped down to pick him up and he was screaming. Instant tears rolled down his cheeks. I put my hand over where he hit his head, he put his hand there too, and when we both drew our hands away, blood was everywhere. I jumped up and looked at it. Immediately I said, we need to go to the hospital now. It was deep and I was borderline panicking. Stefan stopped crying because I think he was amused watching me. Dad went to the bathroom and came back with a maxi pad saying, “Do you think this is alright?” I said, “Its perfect, hold in on his head.”

I got to the hospital in about 5 minutes and they took him in right away. Since it first happened, Stefan still hadn’t cried. When we got into our hospital room, they said that he would likely get some staples and that they were going to take a cat scan. While we waited, I took this picture.

Yes, its a maxi pad. You know, one of those super huge ones you get after having a baby. Eat your heart out ladies, i'll show you this one when he is 18 and dating. :)

Moving on, he was such a champ at the hospital. Before we went down to CAT scan, a nurse came in to clean up the wound, which really made a big difference to the appearance of his boo boo. He didn’t mind it being cleaned too much. I’m surprised that he still didn’t cry. He just didn’t like that the water was cold and that it was dripping down his back and getting on his shirt. After the woman cleaned his wound, we went down to CAT scan. Myself and the ladies that were there made a bid deal out of the fact that he couldn't move while it was "taking pictures". I got to stand right next to him and I was making jokes. "Ohh look, it looks like your going into the middle of a big super huge donut!" He wasn't amused and didn't make any facial gestures. His eyes started to get really big and watery. I asked him if he was going to cry. He said no. I asked him if he was okay and he said, "Mom, can I move my eyes?" loll. I said OF COURSE you can. :) He still tried not to but at least he finally blinked. He did really good with the test. Didn't move an inch.

 When we got back to the room, they decided to hurry up and staple that thing closed. The nurse explained to him what they were going to do and said it might hurt a little and he looked into my eyes and said, "Mom, I'm okay, lets just go home." I wish!They decided that they were not going to numb him up at all because the shot to numb the area would hurt more than the actual staples. I can understand that but I felt soo bad. He layed on his tummy with his chin on my leg and I held his arms down while another nurse held his head still. The doctor, really quickly, put three staples right in there. BANG BANG BANG! Well, not quite a bang but when your a mom, it feels like it. He cried really hard for a good minute but stopped shortly after.  Here are a few pics. One from right when we got to the hospital, one from after they cleaned it and one with the staples. I know, I know. I'm making a big deal out of this but I think I was a little traumatized.

This looks bad...but...

As you can see, its not THAT bad.

I guess I just freaked out.

Shortly after, we got our test results back and everything inside his head was okay. Shew! I was worried. Of course I thought the worst.
Back at home I gave him some Motrin and he layed in my bed with me while I got started on the two assignments for school I had due last night (which were done just in the nick of time). He fell asleep.

He got the sticker from the hospital and did not want to take it off at home so, I let him keep it on. Its not hurting anyone.

All night was rough. As soon as I would drift off to sleep, my eyes would snap open and I would swing around really quick to check on him, thinking I had been asleep for hours when in reality it was only 10 or 15 minutes. This happened all night. I was afraid that I had slept too long and that something had happened to him. I was scared that I would turn over to look at him and see something I didn't want to see. So, I really didn't sleep at all. I kept waking him up every hour to make sure he was okay. Maybe I took this head injury a little far but I hear such horror stories. I didn't want to take any chances.

He stayed home from school today. When I went to pick up Ryder, I stopped by Stefan's class to tell his teachers that he was okay and that he wouldn't stop talking about coming to school to show off his new "hardware". (which is so true)  I may let him go to school tomorrow if he feels up to it. When I went to his cubby, the whole class had wrote (drawn) him get well soon cards. The teacher said that they used free time to do it. I was so touched and surprised. When I brought the letters home to show Stefan he was surprised too. He said, "Oh my gosh, my friends really like me. I bet they miss me. I need to say thank you to them." He was happy that they were thinking about him.

He is doing great today and only cringes a little when he has an itch on his head or when I attempt to brush his hair. All in all, we are just fine!  :)

Crazy, Awesome, and Absolutely Miserable

I often wonder to myself if my relationship is…up to par. Too many thought swirl around in my head and I’m a little frustrated right now so maybe this isn’t a good time to blog but…I feel like I need to. I often wonder to myself what other people’s relationships are like. How does the man treat the woman? How do THEY fight? What kinds of things do they do as a couple? What is a good relationship as opposed to a bad one? Can a bad one change? Can a good one get better? Knowing the answers to these questions about others and how they are treated would really enlighten me.

I do not want to get into depth about my relationship but I feel that it is quite lacking and could improve immensely. But then, how do you improve it? Do you be more submissive as to avoid arguments? Or do you stand up for what you think or believe in regardless of what kind of outcome it will have? We can’t pick and choose the things we want when we are with someone. There is no “Add to Cart” button. We just take what we are given and pray it’s as great as we expected. It’s funny how things can change. Or how people can change. I used to be shy, quiet, and quite reserved. Yes, I’m still a little shy, but if you know me, I’m not quiet OR reserved.

Also, what kind of information do people share with each other. “He” was mad/upset that I wouldn’t give him my username and password for my e-mail address. His point was, I know his, he should know mine. He thinks I am hiding something. If only he believed that I am not. I just think that everyone, weather in a relationship or not, needs to have that private place to go. I mean, I e-mail personal things to my besties, communicate with co-workers and even e-mail his dad. The rest is junk mail and garbage. I have nothing to hide, yet I feel it is disrespectful to demand this information from me. This is my personal “mailbox”. Yes, we are in a relationship but, this is something that he has no right to have. I sometimes wonder what men are so worried about. Maybe it is a lack of trust. On a daily basis, I’m either at work or at home. There is no place else, I go unless the day calls for a grocery store run. Anyway, I wouldn’t care if he changed his password so I don’t know it. The only reason I do is because he forgot his and I had to help him set up a new one. I don’t ever check it. I wouldn’t. It would be like reading his diary or reading his mind. Unethical.

They say that if you love someone, that you should fight for them. Do everything in your power to make things work. Accept the little things that bother you, communicate, have compassion, be considerate, treat them how you want to be treated, Never Give up. If you love them, never stop showing it. Be passionate about making it work no matter what.  But what about when the fight gets too dirty? Sometimes its hard to know when you should keep up the fight or when you should throw in the towel. I wonder what the required length of fight is. And I wonder why I’m the only one fighting most of the time.

~Thank you God for blessing me with the two most amazing boys. In a million years, I will never be able to thank you for enriching my life, as you have by giving them to me! They are great and I LOVE THEM!

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Small Joke:

Husband: I love you. Wife: Is that you or the beer talking? Husband: That’s me…….Talking to the beer.